I take off my helmet, my cheeks red hot, and sweat dripping down my face. I try and slow my breathing before the coaches come in. Deep breath in, and out. Deep breath in, and out. My legs are still burning from the last conditioning drill, but boy did it feel good to get back out there. 

“Wow. You were flying out there! What have you been doing all summer?” I turn towards the voice and see the one girl I was competing with the entire ice time. Man, she’s good. I am so glad I was able to finish the drills before her.  

“I hired a personal trainer and did some extra sprints after the workouts so I can give you a little more competition.” I say jokingly. She laughs, but she seems disappointed. Did I say anything wrong? She goes to say something, probably another snarky comment, but we’re interrupted by the dressing room door flying open. The chattering stops. The room is so silent you can hear a pin drop.

The coaches walk in. You can hear their skates clatter on the cold hard floor. “Good work tonight everyone. You all worked very hard and we can tell that some of you have been training extra hard this summer. You should all have gotten an email regarding AA tryouts that are happening this week. Be sure to rest up, they won’t be easy. See you all Thursday.”

A series of “Thanks Coach” and “See you Thursday” rings throughout the dressing room as the coaches walk out. The chatter and noise begins again with everyone talking about the tryouts.

I bend down to untie my skates, the laces wet from the snow coming up during stops and starts. “So, are you excited for Thursday?” I ask her. She takes a while to answer me. This is a first, she always has a comment for everything I say. I wonder what’s wrong. “I’m not trying out”, she says quietly. Did I hear her right? She has to try out. What reason could there possibly be for her not to try out?

“What do you mean you aren’t trying out? You are one of the best players out there!”

“My parents told me I can never play AA because it’s too much money and we can’t afford it.” She says with tears in her eyes. 

I feel unsteady. What I am supposed to say to that? My parents have never said I can’t do anything because money was an issue. Does this mean I’m privileged? Is ringette really that expensive that someone as good as her can’t play? I have to say something. Would it be awkward if I apologize? But what am I apologizing for? That my parents can afford it and hers can’t? She’s definitely better than me. It’s so unfair. 

“It’s okay though, there’s always next year. Hopefully I see you around the rink?” She says as she flings her heavy bag over her right shoulder. 

“Yeah for sure. I’ll see you around.”