This is where I feel at home. Together with my teammates in the dressing room at the 2019 Canada Winter Games. Where you can hear the music blaring; the sound of the bass pounding against the walls. Where the smell of equipment covered in sweat, tears and hard work makes your noise scrunch and your eyes tear up. You know it’s a big game because the tension in the room is high. I can feel my heart racing. My palms are sweating and my stomach has an unsettling feeling. I look around the room and my teammates are doing their pre-game rituals, tying their skates, and taping their sticks. The top eighteen ringette athletes in Saskatchewan are sitting beside me and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
I take a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. I can feel my hands trembling as I bend down to tie my skates. The tough edges of the laces dig into my hands as I pull them tighter and tighter. I grab the rest of my equipment and finally pull my jersey over my head. I feel more nervous than ever. It’s almost game time. I feel a hand grab my shoulder. I look over and lock eyes with one of my teammates, one of my sisters. She whispers in my ear, “This is just another game. Do what I know you can do, and everything will go your way.” I reach over with tears in my eyes and give her a hug, knowing it could be our last game together. As I wait for my teammates to finish getting ready, I think about what I will say before we go onto the ice. Do I get them pumped up? Do I give a sentimental speech? Then it finally comes to me. I know what I will say.
As my final teammate puts her jersey on, I can feel all eyes on me. I stand up, walk over to the loud, booming speaker, and turn it off. It is so silent in the room that you could hear a pin drop. I take a huge breath, and begin. “I know everyone is nervous. You can feel it in the room, but let’s take a moment and not think about the game. I want everyone to think of what we have accomplished. We are at the 2019 Canada Winter Games. This is where every Canadian ringette player strives to be, standing hand in hand with their teammates on the blue line singing the national anthem of our amazing country. This is what being a Canadian ringette player is all about, and we have reached that goal. We are living our dream. Now I want everyone to take a look around the room. Look who’s sitting next to you. We are not just teammates. We are sisters. This is not just a team. We are a family. When you step on the ice today, I want you guys to think about that. Do not play for yourselves. Play for each other. Whatever happens, happens. But at the end of it all, we are still a family and this is our home.”
Chandria Yang 
Chandria, overall, I believe this was a good representation of the assignment.
You were great at creating a sense of nervous excitement within the reader that made me feel as if I also had worked incredibly hard to be there and now just needed to prove it.
In the first paragraph you seemed to switch back and forth from being in the moment and looking in on the moment and I found it a little distracting. I feel this story would have been more successful If you allowed the strong ending speech to explain setting on its own without factually stating the arena in the first paragraph.
I loved the description, “Where the smell of equipment covered in sweat, tears and hard work…” That is the line that really pulled me into the memory with you. I can’t imagine a single Canadian cannot identify with this scent whether they have played the sport. This scent is Canada’s cologne and you have described it perfectly. I would have enjoyed a little more of this type of vivid description throughout the story.
P.s. Congratulations on the accomplishment, I imagine this is an incredibly precious memory for you and you should be proud.
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[…] of being surrounded by other Canadians to feel at home. Similar to Karly and Annissa’s stories, my story detailed a memory of me at the Canada Winter surrounded by ringette team. Being at the rink, in the […]
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