Around and around I go. Faster and faster. I am getting dizzy. Everything is a blur. Maybe I should stop twirling. I don’t want to though, I feel so pretty in my new dress. I stop and look in the mirror as my dress flares around me. The sparkling gold and bright coloured jewels and gems glimmer in the light. I feel so beautiful, almost as beautiful as a princess. A grown-up princess just like my cousins. I bet they will think I look grown-up just like them. I can’t wait to show them. I race out of the room, “Sonee, Sothea, Sophie! Look how pretty I am!”

“You’re so beautiful!” Sophie says. 

“And so grown-up” Sothea says.

“Really?” My eyes open wide and I can’t stop the big smile that’s growing on my face. My cousin, Sonee, is the greatest. Mom says I look like her the most. I hope I will be as beautiful as her when I am older. We could be twins and dress the same!

“Definitely. Let’s go downstairs and show your aunties how pretty you are.” Sonee says.

I jump down the stairs one by one, feeling my fancy gold necklace with the shiny red diamond swing back and forth, back and forth. I reach the bottom step and look up. Everyone is talking loud and running towards me.

“Oh! So pretty!” Oum Symoun says.

“Look at Niang. So grown-up!” Ming Ren says.

I am surrounded. I am squished as Oum Salouet’s arms wrap around me so tight. I can’t breathe. Ming Ren kisses my cheek and then sniffs me. Whoa. That is really weird. Do I smell funny? Is her nose running? What am I supposed to do? Do I sniff her back? Is this a Cambodian thing?

I feel a hand on my arm, pulling me from the crowd, “Come on! They want to take a picture of us.” Sothea says. I love pictures! I follow close behind, skipping with excitement. I feel hands on my shoulders steering me to the middle directly in front of the camera. Yay! I get to stand with my cousins. I grab Sonee’s hand. She’s so beautiful. I’m going to look exactly like her when I’m bigger. I smile to myself.

I look up towards the camera. I see Oum Symoun pointing at me and waving her hands in the air. Is she doing the chicken dance? No, she looks unhappy. Is there something wrong with my dress? No, it’s beautiful. Am I not smiling big enough? I smile bigger. That doesn’t seem to help. Why is she yelling at me and pointing behind my cousins? What am I supposed to do? Did I do something wrong? I feel my cheeks get warm. I bring my fingers to my mouth, biting my nails. Mommy would tell me to stop but everyone is staring at me. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Is there something wrong with me?

Sonee lets go of my hand and steps forward. “She doesn’t speak Khmer!” she shouts at Oum Symoun. There’s more shouting and pointing.

“No. Not in the middle. She too white. It will ruin the picture! Hide her in the back.”

“No, she can’t go there, she’s too short.” Put her on the end!”

Tears start to escape and roll down my cheeks. What do they mean too white? I am not white. My mom is white. I am brown just like my cousins. I look beautiful, like a princess. How could I ruin the picture? I want to hide.